Always have your head, heels and standards high!

In the ongoing controversy on Kangana Ranaut and Hrithik Roshan, anyone who is no one is taking this opportunity to comment/pass judgements to gain outpour from people (thanks to social media!) Well guilty as self-charged, such episodes trigger the neurons to ramble on…and here I do so ;-)

 

Not having followed all the spat between the stars, I watched KR’s interview with Dutt and India today. I respect her honesty, clarity and the wicked sweet talk with which she lays her case. What I remember from my growing up days has certain shades from hers, which I am sure most of my generation women from that part of the world have.

 

There are men and women alike who believe that she is going “overboard”, well…what is “overboard” ? I guess it is a level set mentally by an individual for an acceptable behavior. Well I’d say that the media went overboard with their interference in private discord between two people. Anyhow this being the season of endorsement I fully endorse Kangana and applaud her for her fearlessness and her nonchalance over societal pressure.

 

She is a successful actor who works her ass off and also plays her cards well….you know only hard work does not get you anywhere but hard work coupled with smartness takes you places and those two combined with an attitude takes you to the top! We the millennial women, work our ass off too, producing babies and then producing a lifestyle to take their potential to the next level. Going per the cliché : we balance work and family and upkeep of family and professional relations. The list is endless and so is our possibilities.

 

 

15 years ago, when I embarked on the journey to come to the USA for graduate studies, I had to convince and assure my family of the unconventional path I was taking and of course to somewhere in my heart the fear of unknown.  While at grad school, I stuck to my guns of making it on my own and I adapted quickly. With myriad experiences in forms of human and situations, I inculcated grit and the ability of not taking muck lying down. Developed bending to avoid breakage and staying robust till the storm subsides. The more you lie down and take crap the deeper you get sucked in the sinkhole. Standing up for yourself gives you a better grip and a view over yourself.

 

I believe we as human beings feel comfortable following precedents, it’s less hassle to follow guides and our laziness prefers to be fed by stipulated checks in that frame.  But in that process we don’t really live before we die. Similar to most parents, I want my son and daughter to be stalwarts of their spirits and and be able to decipher the purpose of their birth. I would like to stand by them in that journey of discovery and exploration. They are bound to make mistakes and rebel (like we all did) but I should be able to teach them to find their way back home.

Keep moving...

Forrest Gump:

"From that day on, if I was goin' somewhere, I was runnin'!"

.. Oh Yeah! :-D

So last night I had a heart warming chat with one of my soul friends....SP. Sigh! She is soo funny! Also with my brother: who is also my soul friend. And he is sooo meticulous!

So this morning....with my committment to Pinkathon, I started my day by packing in a run at 7:30 am for 2 km followed by 51 Suryanamaskaras! Then client meeting and material purchasing. Then practice test for the d-day!(more on this in a week). then trip to the park with the munchkin, then a family dinner. Phew! Yeah?!

For the past 2 months I had been pushing my regime of physical fitness on the back burner, in order to execute my plans which will help me shape my future!!. Totally my bad....slacker me! To jump back into my regime, I registered for the run on Feb 16th, that will spring me back onto the treadmill. Also, I solemnly declare that in 2 months from now, that is end of March-2014 I aim to master eka pada chakrasana. Currently I can hold this pose for a minute. Of course, I will upload pictures of yours truly to authenticate the claim. :-)

Pinkathon @ Bangalore!

Here I come Pinkathon Bangalore....just a whim that I need to feed. Getting a little rusty for the past 6 months....:-( Rekindling the running yogi inside me....watch this space for more updates :-D

Promises to keep!

Alrity then! Promise to keep updating this space (read: regularly) with the "happenings" here.....

And Life goes on...

Yeah yeah....I know the quintessential question: where do I disappear? To that I can only say: Living it up so that I have quality to document!

Neway...4 months and counting here in my Janambhoomi: trying to take it up to some degree of karambhoomi too! Started work (9to6 types) some few weeks back , Munchkin has a new friend and a caretaker when his Mamma is away. Started gym couple of months back to look as close as possible to pre-motherhood! Explored and clicked heart of Bangalore on foot/auto/cab. Promising here pics coming soon. Got Inked. Made few architect/artist friends. I love them: they are weirdos one after the other. Visited and was pleasantly surprised at work processes at Idiom Architects! Attended few TEDx talks.

Yet to go to an exhibition/gallery. Yet to go to Nrityagram and the likes. Yet to try another form of body art.

All in all soaking it in. More visuals to follow.

Afternoon Siesta

A long forgotten activity or rather lack of activity….but here in India it’s widely prevalent....

No, I am still not able to get myself to do it even if I have an entire day to myself, the neurons in my brain you see, keep looking for things to do..nonchalantly blame it on the Chyawanprash I started taking daily in the mornings!

Pa-in-law was confiding into a friend of his the other day that since munchkin’s arrival he just cannot get to his routine of Pranayam and Kapaal Bhati! My brain says to someone in the nook of its den: Aha! The wonders of munchkin in play again! Pa-in-law in the cool pleasantness of Bangalore mornings melts away while munchkin picks up his gaze through his fluttering long lashes to look at him as if he means the world to him and at times as someone who can get the world to him…..khair aage badte hue….

So in the afternoons, I get a little restless because of the quiescence around me, I whistle a thank god and uh oh at the same time because munchkin like me does not like to nap too often…he believes in doing a home run after dark. But you see the good thing about India: outside help is a little more affordable than Amreeka. So I am looking to hire some help so that I use the 2 times repeat of 12 dongs more effectively and without diversion….searching now!

Baki sab badiya as we say here…last evening ordered Pasta Primavera and some antipasti from a recommendation in Zomato : 729 Rupees : not bad is all I can say for now, but it got my taste buds and my sense of adventure excited! Loving this “getting to know you” phase: isn’t it always the best part in any relationship?

From there to here....

OK peeps…resurfacing now …from INDIA!! Ooo YEA!

Alrity now..for the hubby and me this year has been extra eventful…so keeping up the spirit of the unpredictability….2011 had to top off itself with a giant leap to Incredible India!

Just 4 weeks ago this whole idea which was in back burner started taking prominence and the idea of making hay when the sun of “eventfulness” shines on us got into effect. Booked tickets for munchkin and myself to Bangalore, better known as the silicon valley of India! Needless to say I was a little nervous, a little excited and a little overwhelmed all at the same time. Oh yes, in case haven’t mentioned it already I have nothing to do with IT. I am an architect (the building construction wala types). Why then Bangalore is something that will get clearer to my dear peeps as the blog progresses!

Being away from my own home country for almost 10 long years...with intermittent visits only thrice, none of which were for more than 4 weeks at a time…makes me wonder the meaning of the term “home country”. In my mind I feel and think, I was never away from it, but then is it just a belief that I have been nurturing? India is a part of me but will it make me a part of itself? Ah…all the answers will unfold soon in the weeks to follow.

December 5th 2011: the day marks itself as an adieu to the gorgeous New York City and “take care until next time” to hubby: the rock in my life. The flight was much smoother than I thought it would be: no, not because I have a phobia of flying but with a munchkin like mine, well I am just glad that my neighbors in the flight could sleep , watch movies or do whatever they wanted to their heart’s content. On a special note I would like to express my gratitude to the crew of Jet Airways for extending and lending their hand in helping my 11.5 month old be as comfortable as humanely possible on the flights (EWR-BRU-BOM-BLR)…and of course my munchkin’s charm was put to an appropriate use. Mommy darling welcomed a dozing munchkin and me literally with open arms at the BOM airport. Wow! I am home :-)

The new BOM airport is coming up surely and I overheard airlines crews talk proudly of MIAL. Well well…yours truly was also a part of the design team: ahem!

One thing that I noticed and had trouble with at BOM and BLR airports is lack of luggage carts or porters to help the disabled at the drop off point of the shuttle running between aircrafts to the terminal. Yes, at both the airports there was no jetway to the terminal, instead ramp stairs take you down and then you board a shuttle which takes you to the terminal. It required considerable effort to carry a sleeping baby, two carry-on of 7 kg each and a laptop bag to the carts. Oh yes, and for some weird reason the stroller which was gate checked is delivered at the baggage claim!?

The family at BLR is enthusiastic and exuberant at 4 am to welcome us …Wow! I am in my home :-)

To all this welcoming and all munchkin goes wide awake and starts singing in his language (psst: I think it’s the national anthem) …..

Next few days are spent in getting some mundane things taken care of: bank account, cell phone et al. Also, Munchkin celebrates his first birthday and we celebrate our 5th anniversary…aha life’s uniqueness.

In my first week my sensory radars are sleep deprived, jet-lagged and tired. But the initial glimpses are quite interesting.

Most of the household here have green sustainable practices without making an effort or a cry about it. Starting with kitchen: I notice that the fresh produce here is almost half; sometimes one-third the size of fresh produce in USA. Hopefully these here have lesser chemicals. Most Indians buy seasonal produce and therefore it tastes better. The second thing that was missing was kitchen “paper” towels, our home has 2-3 kind of wash-cloths, each for a specific purpose. Water is solar heated and all the rooms specifically the kitchen and bathrooms have ventilation. Hmm….my carbon footprint here seems like will be smaller than the one back in USA…well we will find out.

The new guy in town who makes me go delirious & ecstatic

So people, on December 10th 2006, I exchanged vows to be together with "him" forever and exactly 4 years after that exchange, the stork dropped "him" as a testimony to our patience and perseverance to be together through thick and thin. Yes, the second "him": Ved Varma is dearer to me than myself....my munchkin, my love, my inspiration and definetly a redefinition of my life: the meaning and worth of it :-)

Voice of passion & love

Before I die, I vow here to have tried all to conclude my own :-)
Hmmph….my two cents if at all it’s of any worth …
In certain things, I am a purist to the core and chocolate is one of the few things which remain unparalleled.
Maybe that’s why, cocoa that lose their flavor in transition to being commercially available puts me off! I believe that, if you don’t appreciate the “cocoaness” of the chocolate then puhleez..it’s not for you. True to the humankind’s nature: to twist, knot, break or do whatever it takes to get a thing working for us…..well for me cocoa loses itself when its overtly flavored! It is very strong in itself and you cannot, just cannot justify its “cocoaness” if you put other equally strong flavored ingredient. Just like Lindt’s Chilli chocolate(yikes!)
But using cocoa to flavor other culinary experiments will be most welcome by a connoisseur of chocolate like me! Aha..all for the love for chocolates

hmm...talk about bottomless pits?

Switch on your telly and there is one of a kind news flashing...every other day Dow reaches a new record low! People losing jobs are at an all time high since the Great Depression!

Oooh ...lala...Every one alive here is anxious to knowa" Where is the END?"

To be OR Yet to be!

6 years since the invented wings took me off from my Janambhoomi......6 years and counting since I set my tiny feet on this Karambhoomi.

Living in this part of the country makes you miss home even more. Its like sailing in the ocean with no supplies ....."water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink" (sigh).

Diwali passed without the smell of firecrackers, Muharram without the hoopla around processions and Holi without getting crazy with colors. Non-existent monsoon, non-existent all year round middle of week festivals and weddings, non-existent two-wheelers, non-existent awesome rail network, non-existent series of complaints with anything and everything....OMG! the list seems endless!
A trip for simple known pleasures of life for 2 weeks: 1300$ + variables
Planning for it (social + professional) : countless hours + excitement
Thought left after the trip: Which life is worth what?

this left me humming one of the songs from a movie which was an early bloomer for the contemporary time then ...........enjoy!

A Gin and Tonic Pls!!

Happy Holidays to All :-)

midweek holy day of Wednesday....Holiday Party....your stiff upper lipped boss loosening up into a mindless chatter, the professional colleague passes silly smiles genuinely to you.....

skewered chicken and shrimps being passed around in dimmed lit space....

glasses tinkering with ice and mmm......whtever you desire!

Windorphins

In the subway I keep coming across this commericial for “windorphins”…..thats how Friday afternoons make me feel. Weekend in its way in, anticipation in joy for the next two days of afternoon siesta…..do I hear a chuckle(?) its hard to leave the Indian out eh? Mr. Gold and Mr. Mooney’s entertaining and unpredictable life style and decorum…..a couple of synaptic power surges, and the weekend is totaled…..only if we cud get some money out of it. Sigh……………!! Later......

Sisterhood of the "blah-blah" lunches

Now that I have started getting comfortable at my new work place and especially the surroundings….observation and absorption radar is beginning to warm up!

Murky afternoon…Myriad minds…..

One such day was the Friday afternoon lunch with Ms. Muddy Gal, Ms. Cotton, Ms. Swan and Ms. Horns.

Five women with different background, different lifestyles, different aspirations and of course different food habits are brought together at a common playground called architecture. We parked ourselves at an alley turned plaza behind a building which is home to the bulls and bears of the city. Looking at the streets flanked on either side of the plaza…..I notice myself not observing anymore…..magic of mind’s Voidini is it?

Highlights of the luncheon:
Spoke on maximizing benefits from the benefit plans our company provides.
Ms. Horns and Ms. Cotton excitedly spoke about the benefits of investing in 401K plan. Ms. Swan and I expressed a gleeful surprise.
Ms. Swan told about her higher end house rent in Manhattan for which my jaw is still dropped down.
Ms. Muddy Gal spoke about a mind-blowing hot European girl at work.
I got eewwed by Ms. Cotton and Ms. Swan at something I said; guess I am hanging out too much with guys.
Ms. Cotton mentioned about socializing with her and mine significant others on weekends.
Ms. Horns spoke to me fondly about a phone call with her mom.

Algebra!!

Basic Rule : positive x positive= +ve
>-ve x <+ve= -ve
<-ve x >+ve= +ve

Lesson learned: Keep negating ur sorrows, fears and and everything that gives u negative energy.

Man ke Manjeere( Cymbals of mind)

Few days ago a noted writer and a poetess Amrita Pritam passed away. I didnot get a chance to read any of her books, but a movie named "Pinjar". I was reading about her work and few of her poems and they gave words to my thoughts in this blog. Its sad yet true that gender-discrimination still exists.
My acquaintances dismiss me sometimes as another modern feminist from the third world! There those last 6 words said it all. I deny and call myself to be aware of the facts around me and I just happen to openly disregard the social and gender norms cast on women of India.

The song "Man ke Manjeere" by Shubha Mudgal....is of a woman who is rejoicing at her new found freedom. Its a liberation from the so called norms of the society....The words "Saathi hoon apni main and Mujhko aane laga hai, khud pe hi aaitwaar."

Permanent link of the story : The story of the music video was inspired greatly by the life of a young Muslim woman named Shameem Pathan. Shameem is from the area of Juhapura and is a proud role model for women. The only daughter among seven sons, Shameem was born into a well-to-do-family. She fell in love, and much against the wishes of the family, married the man of her choice. That she had made the wrong choice soon became apparent. Her husband expected her family to support them and refused to work. When her son was three and a half years old, Shameem finally decided to fend for herself. She went through a series of businesses, milk vending, kite-making and doing any job available to make ends meet. Finally, she learned how to drive, an unheard of occupation for a woman in her society. She now drives her own matador van in Ahmedabad, ferrying passengers. Shameem encourages other women to transform their false notions of their own limitations and to reach for their dreams.

These are heroes of the society and most of the times they are ignored as lower section of the society. It takes rare courage to stand up for what you believe in, inspite of having all the odds against you.
While attending primary school I was told to be proud to be a woman. As a school-girl I didnot pay much attention to the underlying philosophy of it. We were told to be strong yet sensitive, considerate of others yet confident of yourself, firm with your principles yet adaptive to different situations. We were taught prose and poems which underlined this in various instances of life.
Swissssh.....as time goes by, we see opposite instances of the values that are taught in school in various forms. One is made to realize that violence comes in various packets......emotional, mental and social. Many times things are made trivial in the name of equality. How many times has one given in to a certain situation because of being a 'woman'! Why are there rules associated with being a woman? Where do they stem from? Its not bitter resentment for the male but the failure to fathom "why we need to follow them?" They say to maintain equilibrium (duh!!), they say to maintain harmony and escape from mid-life crisis.....But what about crisis one has to face throughout one's life? Many girls are made to believe that what happens with them is not injustice but the way a society functions. If someone with exceptional courage stands upto it...they are praised to do the act, but are not accepted as they would have been otherwise.

I still seek these answers...where did these folk go wrong? Is it there upbringing or do they just lose their values in the course of their journey and it boils down to animal instinct of "survival of the fittest."

Mask or something like that?

What's my Primal Fear?

Crawling, Walking, Running..Hopping?
What path do I take to you?
Fleeting away from my own or the unknown...
(Priyanka Gupta)

Franklin D. Roosevelt's "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" ....Sometimes I wonder is it that the more you know, more you would fear. You fear something that has happened in your sub-conscious mind. You know it caused you hardships....you know it got you down and that's what you fear.

At times we don a premature mask of fear to do a proxy act. At time we don mask of "no-fear" when we are scared to death.
Fear of a thing for the first time makes you act on impulse, repetition of it washes your fear away.

Is it really "MY" life!

Why I really like to talk about it? Because we all have it and at times fail to use it. Constructive or destructive is not my arguement. My point to ponder is about it happening and us being oblivious to it. In this essay you may see a lot of excerpts given to my lack of illustrating abilities and of course Google being a plethora of information :-)

Life is a series of patterns. Most of the mathematicians believe so. See movies like "Pi" and "A beautiful mind" to get comforted(?) to this idea. In a given two different situations in two different locations and with two different variables....one reacts, thinks and behaves in the same pattern. Does the prior experience makes us think differently? It gives us another perspective and on light of that we assess the second one differently.
Writer Jacqueline Lichtenberg says, "When I look at the real world, I see Life as a pattern of significant and connected challenges. I see a world in which each and every individual has a fighting chance provided they're willing to give up their preconceived notions and step outside their cultural straight jackets to deal with the Unknown on a friendly basis. So Art that depicts the Unknown as a menace-because-it's-a-menace just doesn't "speak" to me. I cannot enter into the conspiracy with the author to step sideways into another universe and become another person for a while."

Celebrating L(IF)E

Hmm....So you r here to read about Life! When in school in the US I was told thats the favorite passtime of people from the third world( In case u r frowning over it...I am from India...in the US for the past 3 years now).

Everyday teaches me something new which in turn realises how wrong I had been in the past. I named my title as I did because that gives options. Looking back I am amazed at what would have happened if I would have opted otherwise in the past 28 years.
Few days ago I saw a movie in which the narrator says "no man is great, but the challenges in life make him great." Never had thought about it till I heard that.
Ever wondered what would have happened if you would have opted for some professional degree which you didnot choose over your current one. What would have happened if you would have married your first crush? What would have happened if you would have given into what people thought is "right" for you...would it really have been right to do that? To do or not to is what it takes.

Questions posed here would give rise to another chain of thoughts......but here again I am talking about "IF"...Life would have been surely different more importantly it would have generated a different you.

Came across this while surfing and it helps me get my point across.

THE GREAT FLOW
Panna Lal was greatly bothered about the meaning of life. He approached a wise man for guidance. The wise man took him to a stream and filled a pitcher with stream water.

Wise man: (Pointing to the stream) What is that?
Panna Lal: A stream.
Wise man: (Pointing to the pitcher) What is this?
Panna Lal: A pitcherful of stream water.
Wise man: Why don't you call it a stream?
Panna Lal: The water doesn't flow in the pitcher. So it's not a stream.
Wise man: How can it be a stream?
Panna Lal: When you let go of it.

As Panna Lal made the gesture of letting go, he understood what the wise man was driving at. Life is like a flowing stream and the meaning of life is only a pitcherful of water.

So it is....a very simple example but doesn't it feel close to our lives. It is something that we all have but many times let the truth of the whole fact pass us by. Mind takes on to flights when faced with unfathomable problems. It wants to have a little peek at the storehouse of future. The unknowability of the next moment is intrinsic to the nature of life. You never know what is going to come your way. If you knew that, it would be no fun playing.It is about abandoning the dream of a magical future and waking up to the magic of this moment.

As the they say life is not measured by the breaths we take but by moments that take our breath away......

Hmmm......I close my eyes and let the essence of this thought seep inside me.

Sinister Me

Sinister me~ 


"Quod me nutrit me destruit"- Latin
Translation: "That which nourishes me also destroys me"

It has happened with everyone. You are your best friend and you are your worst enemy. At times you precisely know this is going to harm you...but u still do it saying "I like to live on the edge." I have done it and am still doing it. Its like being on a high ....is it?

Will you be able to confront your worst fears and your strongest strength if you dont let yourself free.....dare yourself to bare yourself to yourself. Just watch your weaknesses and strengths unfold itself in front of you.....believe me you would become unreachable to ecstacy and agony.
You wont be able to do justice to yourself if you dont bring it out in front of you. They beg to come out, life tries to extract it out of you, but you let practicality come in between.

Dont! because this is your life and you should know yourself before venturing out into it.